Typically I have refused to date any men who:
· Have been married before.
· Have children.
· Live with their parents.
· Are not working.
· Haven’t gone to college.
· Aren’t practicing Christians.
In the past two weeks I have focused on seeking out potential dates through dating websites and matching services. Of the twenty-three men who have contacted me to communicate or set up a date not one has matched my previous list of requirements. In my attempt to be more open minded and view dating as a way to meet new and interesting people I’ve gone ahead and communicated with these men in an attempt to form some kind of an interest or connection. I have found out many things about single men but the most unexpected fact is this; Single men are desperately lonely… but have no follow through to do anything about it.
If I was as lonely as these men make themselves out to be I would DO something about it. Instead these men make plans and cancel them at the last minute. Instead they fill their lives with things that temporarily help them forget about their loneliness; video games, partying, working out more than any normal person should, searching for “NSA encounters” (something I had to look up the definition of and umm… No Thanks!), watching sports on three different channels at once so as not to miss a single play… the list could go on and on. There are all these lonely single men who want companionship of some kind or another, but they want to make no investment.
As a teacher I wonder why this is… why are there people of both genders who feel entitled to have relationships without doing any actual relating or without having any real interaction. Have I as a teacher encouraged this entitlement? Is society at fault for so many individuals feeling it is their prerogative to have contact without connection?
Wake up people, where have you been... Relationships take WORK, real work. Parent-child, spouse, co-worker, friend, any of these types of relationships take work. So be willing to put forth the effort or go sit in a room alone and watch TV, play your video games, and bury yourself in something that doesn't require any emotional investment.
Ok, I'm done ranting now.
3 comments:
Three questions if you want to go there:
1) Where do people learn how?
2) What might there be to tempt them to take an easier road that doesn't involve copping out?
3) What makes us intimidating?
You're on the right track with your goal to make dates easier. What is it that's different from what we expect from dates than from friends? From ourselves when we go on dates?
I'd argue that you've been on more than 12 dates in just the last year alone -- though this is a funny source for that comment -- it's just that you need to change your counting (Double dates count. Chaperoned encounters count. Time spent alone together cooking and cleaning in your own home counts.) and your expectations in order to win through to relationships.
The nice thing about computer games is that you don't get into conflicts where she-doesn't-understand-I-don't-understand; and worst comes to worst, there's the ultimate grace of a reboot!
Not going there.
I've gotten some guff about this post and wanted to just clarify that it was simply a rant. I realize that I sterotyped all single men... but keep in mind I had been stood up 4 times in 1 week.
It's been a hard go of getting this 29 dates thing rolling. So far the ration is 5:1 (5 times being stood up for every 1 date). I'm hoping to improve this ratio, but just want to clarify where I was in the process when I wrote this. I think if you can empathize with where I was coming from at the time you will understand my blutness.
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